The Mystery that is Modern Dating

It’s a sad commentary on dating in today’s society that a guy is willing to send a pic of his junk before he’ll spring for a dinner date. Honestly, I’m one penis pic away from having a medical specialty in urology. He doesn’t want to know the color of your eyes or the way you laugh; he wants to know that you’re DTF. Make sure to have perfect breasts and an ass he can serve drinks on. No, you’re too tall. Yikes, you’re short. Your hair is the wrong color. Oh, no. This one’s a live wire–she has an opinion of her own; she’s smart! He especially wants to make sure you’re not a fatty; please don’t be a fatty. Please be a vapid robot that agrees with everything he says– laugh at all his jokes. Make sure you don’t speak unless he is finished speaking about himself ad nauseum. Maybe just don’t speak at all; definitely don’t have a personality.


“Honestly, I’m one penis pic away from having a medical specialty in urology.” -Me

Maybe you meet a nice guy; perhaps you want to talk on the phone instead of communicate in text messages. There are two types of guys here. Type A guy mixes and matches, a combo of texts and the occasional call–and Type B exclusively texts. How much can you really learn when you only communicate in short bursts? Not to mention that tone is lost completely. This, in my opinion, automatically lends itself to misunderstanding and ruins things because we assume what the other person is thinking or what their motivations are.

Gone are the days of dates to fancy restaurants–and evenings that lead up to a glorious romantic kisses at a girl’s door. The date nights that really stick in your mind are few and far between. Those moments when you look up into your man’s eyes and see infinite possibility are most likely an invention of your own mind. Falling in love has become more of “I don’t want to end up alone” than “I’m going to spend the rest of my life loving and learning this person.”

It may sound like I’m jaded; I probably am…..but I’m not bitter. I still have hope that the right man for me is out there, and he’ll love me just as I am RIGHT NOW (even though I have no plans of staying this way). Yep, I’m a beautiful fatty with brains and personality; I have an opinion about almost everything. I try to keep it to myself but sometimes it just doesn’t work. Currently, I’m working on myself–mind/body/soul, all of that. While I’m waiting on Mr. Right, I’m going to continue to do what’s right for me: consistent proper nutrition, consistent exercise regimen, and a consistent commitment to myself by reading, resting when I need to, and just living my best life.

If he’s not out there, and that may be the case, then I will never regret the time I spend improving myself and loving who I am. Because who I am is pretty great.


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